How to be your body’s best friend

We all have an inner critic, or what I call my ‘inner bitch’.  It’s the part of you that engages in harsh and judgmental self-talk.

When it comes to your body, if you frequently experience negative body thoughts, followed by body dissatisfaction and shame, it’s likely that your ‘inner bitch’ is particularly vocal.

Negative body thoughts aren’t balanced

If you’ve ever consciously tuned into your negative body thoughts, you will have noticed how distorted and unbalanced those thoughts are.

Negative thinking tends to be very black or white, with no shades in between. On some days you really like your body, and on other days you hate it.

There isn’t much balance going on.

Your inner best friend

Balance and perspective is the voice of your ‘inner best friend’.

Your inner best friend is able to acknowledge what you don’t like about your body, but also appreciate what you do like and appreciate.

Building awareness of your inner bitch, and being able to challenge and re-frame negative thinking opens the door to your inner best friend.

If you need some tips on how to challenge and re-frame negative thinking, check out how to deal with negative body thoughts.

Tuning into your inner best friend

So how can you bring in more of your inner best friend, and start to see less of the bitch?

The key is to ask yourself: what you would rather be thinking instead?

I don’t mean being Pollyanna positive in a way that feels false or inauthentic to you, for example, saying, I love my body! when you don’t feel anything like that.

But rather, when you’re having those inner bitch thoughts, what words of advice or compassion would you like your inner friend to offer?

What words would give you a more balanced perspective?

Best friend mantras

To help me deal with my inner bitch, I like creating best friend ‘mantras’.  Here are some of my favourites that you might like to try, or that will spark some ideas of what will work for you:

When you hear the inner bitch, you might want to say:

“I’m not triggered by that.” You’re acknowledging the voice, but not allowing it to get you down

“Even though I’m having this thought, it’s part of my journey to better body confidence.”

“I’m doing the best I can in this moment.”

“I know that you’re trying to keep me safe [to your inner bitch], but I’ll find a better way.”

“These negative thoughts do not serve my body’s value. My body is more than an object; it has greater value than that.”

“I’m learning to accept what I don’t like and to value what I do about my body.”

Think about what mantras might work for you. You’re looking for a kind, compassionate yet balanced voice.

In a nutshell

These inner friend mantras become your ‘go to’ voice when the inner bitch kicks in.

The more you introduce your inner friend to your bitch, the less power she will have. The bitch may never completely go away, but at least you have the tools to help drown out her voice!

Please remember, his work isn’t easy, so be gentle with yourself! When you feel like beating yourself up, go back to your mantras.